Man’s Guide To The Ultimate Shave

Ever since the days of the cavemen, when Gronk Bloody Face constantly dragged a sharp clamshell over his cheeks in order to rid himself of his facial hair (and upon succeeding, got himself exiled from his tribe for looking like a freak), men have been seeking the ultimate shave. Call it guy-hood’s Holy Grail, only the cup is filled with the perfect shaving cream.

Funny thing about shaving: most boys can’t wait to reach that point in their maturity where they need to shave. It’s a rite of passage, a sign that a boy has crossed over into manhood. Gone are the days of putting a bucket over your head and running into walls; instead you attack your face with a sharp object every morning. Once that manly milestone is reached, however, many spend the rest of their lives grumbling about having to do it. The best explanation for this is that humans are dumb.

But if we men have to shave, then at least we can be made aware of the best shave out there. Here’s the way to go about it. Incidentally, apologies in advance for the lack of famous sports spokesmen and/or hot chicks.

Manly Tools

It appears that, in the world of manly men, plastic disposable or cartridge razors are for wusses. For the best manly shave, a man needs to go old-school: either a straight razor or the classic safety razor. That’s not so bad when you take into account that it’s actually cheaper overall. As for shaving cream, forget about the spray can junk. A man needs a brush and mug, like something out of a barbershop quartet. Yes, the key to the best shaving is to go retro.

Shaving Cream, Be Nice And Clean …

If you want that ultimate shave, you better take those cans of shaving cream and shaving gel and toss them in the trash where they belong. Manly men don’t get their greatest shave from some foolish can. No, you need to use shaving soap. That’s right, shaving soap. After all, what did you think was going to be mixed up in that mug? Hot cocoa?

Fortunately, thanks to our friend the Internet, finding a place that sells shaving soap is a cinch. If you really want to go natural, then there’s always taking the do-it-yourself route (a sure sign of rugged self-sufficiency!) and look up a good home-made recipe for shaving soap.

A Useful Additive

While this talk about rugged manliness is all fine and good, no one actually goes out of their way to be uncomfortable, and shaving is no exception. Sometimes, a natural additive with a reputation of treating skin well is just the thing needed to make that shave a better experience.

According to the article “Avoid Damaging Effects of Shaving with These Coconut Oil Benefits”, you can add a few drops of coconut oil into your shaving soap. The coconut oil will moisturize the skin and thereby reduce the incident of nicks. In addition to the moisturizing benefits, coconut oil functions as an antibacterial and an antimicrobial.

After The Shave

This is the part where you slap some sort of heavy alcohol-based solution on your face in an effort to sanitize your skin and make you smell good, right? Wrong! What do you think this is, an homage to “Home Alone”? Forget the aftershave lotion. We’re doing this old school, remember? In fact, an alcohol-based aftershave actually slows healing and kills new skin. The last thing you want to do after scraping your face with a sharp blade is to add something that will do further damage.

Rather than aftershave, consider a natural alternative such as Shea butter, rosemary oil, or coconut oil. Any of those will give you a good scent while treating your skin the way it should be treated, soothing it and keeping it soft. If you’re not sick of the do-it-yourself mindset yet, you can even make your own lotion bars, the recipes for which can be found in abundance online.

Let’s face it; the good old days weren’t always so good, but one area where they had the right idea was the perfect shave. These days, most of us have sacrificed quality for convenience and expedience. It’s time to slow down, take a moment, and actually enjoy a shave, which in turn will result in nice skin and a more healthy experience overall.

About AuthorJohn Terra has been a freelance writer since 1985. He needs to shave because all attempts at growing facial hair have resulted in horror. The rest of the world agrees with him.

John Terra

John Terra has been a freelance writer since 1985. As a computer operator in the 80's, he made more than his share of mistakes.

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